News update: Well there isn't much to say except that I would appreciate prayer. I just finished a 8 day work stretch and I am now starting a 9 day stretch. I had the lovely (sarcasm) of working until midnight twice. Anyway, I have to drive up today. Well maybe I'll try and update again sometime.

Resolutions Revisited

So at the end of the fall semester I felt inspired to write a list of personal resolutions- not the ones turned in for Biblical Fun. I meant to post them by my bed and work hard on improving. Unfortunately like most of my good intentions they didn't happen, instead they sat on my xanga for no purpose. So I thought I would post them again with the intention of trying once more to improve. And hopefully with God's help I will make at least a little progress this summer. Hmmm- well I was a little upset about some specific things when I wrote this and I can tell now when reading back. My Personal Resolutions 1. Resolved, to focus on my own personal and spiritual life and leave others in the hands of God. 2. Resolved, to pray for others but not take things out of God’s hands, for on my own I will only complicate things and cause unneeded heartache. 3. Resolved, to spend quality time in God’s word, not as an obligation I feel I must accomplish but as a heartfelt desire to grow closer to Him. 4. Resolved, to spend more time on meaningful conversations and doing acts of kindness than I do in meaningless chatter and activities. 5. Resolved, to not jump to conclusions without knowing all facts and evidence. 6. Resolved, to not feel jealousy for something or someone that is not mine and that I have no claim to. 7. Resolved, to not let petty jealousy hinder friendships that I could have. 8. Resolved, to not blame others for what I think they should have done when I did nothing on my part. 9. Resolved, to clean my room more often. 10. Resolved, to learn how to balance my academic and social life in a way that neither suffers over much. 11. Resolved, to not hold my opinions and advice to myself in situations when it is needed, as this is selfish. 12. Resolved, to ask if I can help instead of waiting for someone to ask me. 13. Resolved, to never feel comfortable and stagnant in my spiritual life. 14. Resolved, to honestly care how people are when I ask them how they are. 15. Resolved, to be willing to share my thoughts and emotions with others. 16. Resolved, to not let others actions cause me to sin. 17. Resolved, to not focus on how I want others to change, but on how I can change. 18. Resolved, to put more thought into my actions, and to be quick to ask for forgiveness. 19. Resolved, to not focus my thoughts on myself and my own selfish ambitions but to think about others in a caring and uplifting way. 20. Resolved, to not become impatient when waiting for others, as there are many occasions when I make people wait for me. 21. Resolved, to not let the sun go down on my anger, literally. To take action instead of wallowing in self pity thinking “I will get over this”, when I will just harbor it and make the situation worse. 22. Resolved, to be quick to listen and slow to judge. 23. Resolved, to remember that I’m a sinner and nothing I can do on my own is worthy of God’s grace. 24. Resolved, to truly be happy for others when good things happen to them and not to me. 25. Resolved, to realize that if I accomplish any of these resolutions that it is only through Christ and not my own strength. 26. Resolved, to be thankful when people correct me and to realize that it is out of love and not an effort to tear me down. 27. Resolved, to realize that what is best is not necessarily what I want. 29. Resolved, to not pray for others to change so that it will benefit me but to pray out of a true concern for them. 30. Resolved, to not give my opinion like it is the will of God that everyone should obey and agree with. I am mostly wrong, and often need to admit it. 31. Resolved, to love others unselfishly. To be willing to love even if it means I may get hurt, for there is no gain without risk. To let God love others through me, and not let my personality and desires get in the way of his sovereign will.

I'm Alive!!!

Yes indeed I am! I'm also on the staff lounge computer that must be shared with all the other summer staff, so I won't be writing much of anything. I am enjoying my new job working at the coffee shop now calleed Creekside Cafe. I'm learning new things. Today I used the Expresso maker for the first time- I definitely need practice. There are mice or some other critter that move around in the wall next to my bed- rather disturbing when you are trying to fall asleep. I have resorted to playing classical music so I don't hear it as loudly. My first day of work is over. I was actually quite worried about it because when the coffee shop isn't open I work in accomodations (my department of the last two summers), and Bruce my boss told me that he expected me to help train summer staff because all the other full time workers were off. Anyway it turned out to not be that bad and we both survived and it is time for me to go to bed. My day off is Saturday so I plan on writing something more meaningful then.

5 1/2 hours spent in church today and a new lease on life. A new new post coming soon.

A New Post

The title says everything: this is a new post. Now that I've said that I'm not all that sure what to write. I like to stew up what I'm going to write for some time, so that when it comes to writing, I actually have something to say. This is also supposed to be mostly serious. Why? Because I have 3 xangas, one myspace, one facebook, and something else that I can't think up the name for. I realize that is a little excessive. Perhaps it is even a sign of some sin issue in my life. I will now write 10 pages biblically counseling myself...:) Anyway, I started this for my serious thoughts because my xanga has been silly for so long that I wasn't sure how people would take it if I whent completely serious (though I do write serious things on there now and then). I still have no idea what I'm writing about. I could start ranting about something I feel strongly about but that has a tendency to turn into complaining, and it is far from my purpose on earth to complain about all the wonderful things God has blessed me with. I don't want to forget why I'm here, or forget where I've come from. Sometimes I wonder why things happen and think that I deserve something better. But really (short interuption-one of my sisters called and wanted to talk to me, apparently my other sister who she was talking to was being to rational and patient about the subject of which they were talking and she thought I might be better. Unfortunately I happen to be the most rational of the three of us- at least when it comes to other peoples lives :) ) Anyway, I think I will try and sum up what I was trying to say: Instead of complaining like I often want to, it is important to realize the magnitude of what God has done for me. To have forgiven me and be changing me is amazing. Even though I have no reason to complain about the little things in my life. I am priviledged and really half the world doesn't have the things I do- tempted to go off on the starving children of Africa...(someone actually asked me about that-I dream of people asking me questions like that, someone once also asked me about "crossing the Rubican"-another question I had been waiting all my life to be asked. Anyway(I may say that word too often) after saying so little in so many words I will stop, and think of something deep and meaningful to write at a later date. I just realized what I was going to write about. Nooooo!!!!!!!! well that is life. I may remember it another time I am writing- perhaps later today. Spell check will not work for me. Sorry for all the spelling errors.

Summer...

Summer is always refreshing but it also brings plenty of its own problems. Right now I'm at home, getting ready for a trying summer at Camp. I guess what worries me the most is the drama. Since it will be my third summer (and last) I know everyone, which means I know all their problems. This summer I also won't be going up with any of my friends, like in the past. Which means there will be no neutral people except myself. So I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to be friends with people without creating enemies. I know I'm going to need patience, lots and lots of patience. Right now the summer ahead seems daunting. The time is going too quickly by, and soon I'll be up in the mountains with no car and a multitude of problems. I know I'll be learning a great deal and that I'm looking forward too. It seems that I learn the most when its the hardest so I'm looking forward to learn some good but hard lessons. I know that everything will work out, I'm just hoping that I'll be able to look forward to it all before it begins.

So today I was listening to Christian radio, I haven't really done that since coming to school, and I was reminded of some of the things that really annoy me in music. I heard this overly happy and bubbly song by True Vibe, I hadn't heard it before but it sounded like all their others. What bothered me was the meaninglessness of it. Don't get me wrong, I do listen to some Christian music that is purely fun and light. It when people over simplify and portray a distorted version of the Christian life. The song basically sang about how happy they were since they started following Christ, and it then when on to talk about how wonderful their life was, all sunshine and twinkies. Besides not saying anything important, it gave the idea that you won't have any problems when you become a Christian. Maybe I'm strange but I've had plenty of trials in my life, and I'm not always bubbly. The difference is having hope. Grace through the trials and a hope in the life that is to come. My sister thinks every band should go to Bible school, I'm starting to agree with her.

Another thing (now that I'm ranting about music), I once again heard that song by Rebecca St. James, Wait for me. Before angry people start hitting me over the head, let me say I have nothing wrong with the song. It is the fact that half the songs written seem to be about things like this. It is a good thing to have a godly perspective when it comes to relationships, but too much of a good thing is bad. We seem to have gotten into some sort of an obsession. To be obsessed (general def.) with God is a good thing, but obsessing over his gifts can easily turn to sin. It is good to trust God and know He holds the future, but we can't get distracted by hopes for the future and forget the present job at hand. Personally there are some things that I don't think it is healthy to dwell on. Girls have a tendency to speculate and dream up every detail of the life they hope to have. I try not to, that is why when people ask me "silly" questions I often give short answers or won't answer at all. There are several problems to over daydreaming. First, people can't read minds. They won't say or do what you want, you can't make them live up to expectations they don't know about, this is bound to end in disappointment. Second it takes attention off God, only he is perfect, all else will fail. And most importantly, God is in control of all of our lives (thankfully). I guess what I'm trying to say is that when I make plans for my life it is hard for me to except that God's plans may be different. I want to live every moment ready to do His will, and it is hard to do this when all my thoughts are on what I expect. Now I have no idea how I got off on this tangent. Ahhh, Rebecca St. James. So yes, when every other song on the radio is some gushy future love song, it is hard to not dwell on it, and to keep focus on Christ. Also do we realize that not everyone gets married? I know we often think that since we are Christians God will give us what we think is the perfect ideal life. This isn't true, he knows what is best for us and this may include being a hermit in the desert eating cactus thorns. I thought about writing a song about being single for the rest of my life, but then I thought someone might shoot me. Anyway those are my thoughts on that.

One last thing relating to music. It bothers me how we grumble about how the world has strange views about the Bible then feed these views with theologically unsound songs, and careless words. So I've had this song from VBS stuck in my head for about a week. It goes something like this "Let's be friends like Jonathan and David, they show us how friendly friends can be...". So to a innocent churchgoer this seems fine. But when we realize that kids going to VBS may be fed from other sources that Jonathan and David were gay, the song may only strengthen this. A simple rewording could solve the problem.

Anyway, I really should go to bed and stop ranting...Trust me there is more...Have a good week...