Reflections...

A week ago tonight I was sitting in my room hurriedly typing my personal improvement project paper. I often get caught up in the little things and my multiple failings and forget to look at the whole picture. Part of writing it was starting at the beginning and following the process of change over the whole semester. I was shocked, I had seen all my failing during the semester but not the changes they had brought with them. Things that seemed to have no connection to my project were changed. Its not that I doubt God's power to change me it is that bumbling idiot who seems determined to stubbornly resist God in all ways possible. If there is hope for me there is hope for everyone.

In a larger sense, it is more than just this semester. I had supper with one of my friends the other night and she asked to hear my testimony (something that used to strike terror in my heart), she was a detail person so I gave all the details. I was surprised, I had told myself that just because God had forgiven me that people couldn't, that God may be able to love me anyway but that if anyone truly knew my sins they never could. It is easy to know things but often hard to believe them, at least for me it is. As I sat there and poured out my life and my heart instead of being condemning she was just happy (couldn't think of a better word at the moment) at the amazing things God has done in my life. She found it encouraging that God can change people in drastic ways and wanted to know all about how he has changed me since then. God's forgiveness is such an amazing thing and it so beautiful when it is expressed through fellow believers. I just hope I can be show this same love and forgiveness to others.

My toes are fat, please don't feel ashamed telling me this. Someone pointed out to me tonight that they were chubby (like I didn't know already), we both knew that they really meant that my toes are fat. So if you want to say it please do, I got over being sensitive about it a long time ago.