A New Beginning

This is a new beginning, meaning, I plan on posting on here in the future. I realized that I needed to post on here again when I couldn't remember my password anymore. Very sad. So that said, there isn't much else to say. Well there is much that could be said, but I don't want to say it. So thats it. Haha, well I'll find something else to do for a bit. Laterz self.

Boredom isn't a good reason to post, but I will try and bridge that and actually write something that I want to say. I keep thinking about things that I meant to post about a while ago, but I have more trouble writing about them when I let time pass. I was going to write something about living beyond reproach, Shondra and I talked a bit about it at work during the summer. But I let it pass, so I will write about this week.

In all honesty it hasn't been the easiest week- not just speaking about school. I've been moping a bit, rather caught up in all the things I wish I could change in my life. I think about how I wish things were different then mope because I can't do anything about it and don't think God will. Sometimes knowing that God wants what is best for me I just assume that is everything I don't want. Anyway during dorm chapel on Friday everything was put into perspective. We were singing How Great is Our God, and I remembered How great our God really is. When I focus on Him and not my own petty little problems I realize how trivial they are. Honestly they don't matter. It's late at night and I'm having trouble formulating my thoughts. The moral of the story is that, when I'm feeling mopish I need to focus on God, well I should be focusing on Him all the time, He should be the center of my life. I'm saying should because I fail so many times. The older I get the more amazed I am at His love. Sometimes I think that after all these years I would have learned something so small. Yet thankfully there are trials in my life that constantly remind me of how much I need Him, and how great He is. Well I think I will go to bed now, and maybe write something that might make a little more sense later. GBY

Another day, another try

The summer, since it is almost over, I think I will try and sum it up. As stated before the summer has turned out to be interesting. Not much has happened, as stated above. My parents moved, and yes I did cry, most of the way up the mountains back to work. I am actually an emotional person- in the sense that I do cry sometimes, I'm only saying that because my family doesn't know. Anyway, womens Bible study this week was really good, Patricia shared, and she basically just shared her whole life story. It was incredibly encouraging to hear how God has been faithful through the years. I have been quite worried over how I'm going to pay for this next school year, and hearing her share really put things into perspective. I had a good sitting session too. I am known to roam about at night (at school too) most of the time just to think. But I sat outside and had a good thinking/praying session. Anyway, the rest is almost over and school is about to begin. But I'm quite excited about it. The question right now is should I graduate early? I'm now a second semester sophmore and it would be really easy to take a few extra classes and graduate a year early. But do I really want to do that? I still have no idea what I want to do. So anyway that is life. Only one more semester of signing in!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY! Waldock here I come.

And the summer is almost over...

So I don't really write on here because I have so little time on the computer and I don't always like writing complete nonsense. The summer is really almost over I only have two more weeks of work. Ahhhh. This summer has been good. I can't say that I had some revelation that was so great it felt like I was struck by lighting (not that I know what that feels like, actually technically I don't think it would feel like the expression suggests at all) but things have been settling. Like my life has been shaken gently and all the peices are falling into place.

My parents are now in Florida. My mom was offered a teaching job before she moved but she refused it (the contract was really strange) but the day they arrived she was told by another school that she had an interview then she was offered the job and now she start on Monday. Anyway what I think I was getting to was that I've been worried this summer about this coming year and the fact that I have no job and no way to pay my school bills, and all this reminded that I don't need to worry. Anyway, I'm writing but it seems like I'm not saying anything that I want to.

I think I will end this post and rewrite everything I want to say better. But considering this is the first time all summer that I have sat and no one has been in line, this will probably not happen again.

thoughts....or something like that

So I'm sitting in the staff lounge waiting for it to be time to go down the hill. We are eating at Red Robin tonight. I don't really like Red Robin, but I will eat there. So I have been at Camp for about a month. At first we weren't very busy so I had time for great thoughts that I wanted to record. Then it became busy and life started consisting of sleep, food, work, sleep and of course foosball. Overall I haven't had any life changing revelations: realizing that the true path to happiness involves shaving my head and eating onions for the rest of my life. I also have not as yet been abducted by aliens- though I still have not lost hope. I will persevere! On the otherhand I have thought alot about , serving others, and well of course foosball.

To start off the summer I was reading the Autobiography of Malcolm X- I didn't finish it, partially because it was due back at the library and because I got upset about being called the basest of all human beings, and racist, racist beyond anything I thought conceivable. I will agree with Dr. Simons that it is a good autobiography, but their is only so much any human can take being insulted. So the book is basically is about how his life was ruined by racist whites. You must realize that every bad aspect of black society is caused by Whites. The , the , the prostitution, all of it. So apparently I have lived my life in oblivion. I know that I have been the cause for most of the tradgedy of everyone I know's life, but to be called a cause of the deterioration of black society. Really. The book takes it so far that it is completely racist against whites. Anyway, I stopped the book, I could not read anymore. Maybe someday I'll finish it.

When I got here this summer I was a little worried when I found out that I was going to be one of the oldest s here (really I'm not all that old), in the past I was one of the youngest. The first week everything exploded and some of the s called a meeting where they complained about someone borrowing their razor and the like. Things have calmed down a little. I am also always in contact with people which is difficult at times. I like them in small doses but sometimes when I'm around them for nine or ten hours a day and they all want something or are wondering why they haven't gotten their fries yet it becomes difficult.

Odd but possibly interesting facts: My boss mixed the rootbear and Dr. Pepper lines by mistake and we were open for several hours and nobody who bought Root Bear and got Dr. Pepper instead said anything. I am also starting to like Dr. Pepper. My grandparents always feed it to us when we visit. People also will order a soda look at what we have and ask for Coke. We don't have coke!!!! I give them Pepsi. Sometimes I ask them if they want Pepsi and they normally say yes. My mom calls all soda coke, so I like to make sure. But if they read all the labels and ask for coke, really it astonishes me. I have also rediscovered my love for foosball! How did I live a year without playing it??? Hmmmm foosball. It is about time for me to start getting ready to leave. So have a splendid day!

My parents leave for Florida in ten days!!!!!!!!!!!

Have I ever mentioned that I seriously dislike the sound of popping knuckles???

Note: this computer takes out all words that it deems innapropriate, basically any word that could be controversial. I have not reread this to see if it took anything out. But just to clarify, I did not cuss or say anything that is even questionable, the computer just has no idea what I'm actually talking about.

News update: Well there isn't much to say except that I would appreciate prayer. I just finished a 8 day work stretch and I am now starting a 9 day stretch. I had the lovely (sarcasm) of working until midnight twice. Anyway, I have to drive up today. Well maybe I'll try and update again sometime.

Resolutions Revisited

So at the end of the fall semester I felt inspired to write a list of personal resolutions- not the ones turned in for Biblical Fun. I meant to post them by my bed and work hard on improving. Unfortunately like most of my good intentions they didn't happen, instead they sat on my xanga for no purpose. So I thought I would post them again with the intention of trying once more to improve. And hopefully with God's help I will make at least a little progress this summer. Hmmm- well I was a little upset about some specific things when I wrote this and I can tell now when reading back. My Personal Resolutions 1. Resolved, to focus on my own personal and spiritual life and leave others in the hands of God. 2. Resolved, to pray for others but not take things out of God’s hands, for on my own I will only complicate things and cause unneeded heartache. 3. Resolved, to spend quality time in God’s word, not as an obligation I feel I must accomplish but as a heartfelt desire to grow closer to Him. 4. Resolved, to spend more time on meaningful conversations and doing acts of kindness than I do in meaningless chatter and activities. 5. Resolved, to not jump to conclusions without knowing all facts and evidence. 6. Resolved, to not feel jealousy for something or someone that is not mine and that I have no claim to. 7. Resolved, to not let petty jealousy hinder friendships that I could have. 8. Resolved, to not blame others for what I think they should have done when I did nothing on my part. 9. Resolved, to clean my room more often. 10. Resolved, to learn how to balance my academic and social life in a way that neither suffers over much. 11. Resolved, to not hold my opinions and advice to myself in situations when it is needed, as this is selfish. 12. Resolved, to ask if I can help instead of waiting for someone to ask me. 13. Resolved, to never feel comfortable and stagnant in my spiritual life. 14. Resolved, to honestly care how people are when I ask them how they are. 15. Resolved, to be willing to share my thoughts and emotions with others. 16. Resolved, to not let others actions cause me to sin. 17. Resolved, to not focus on how I want others to change, but on how I can change. 18. Resolved, to put more thought into my actions, and to be quick to ask for forgiveness. 19. Resolved, to not focus my thoughts on myself and my own selfish ambitions but to think about others in a caring and uplifting way. 20. Resolved, to not become impatient when waiting for others, as there are many occasions when I make people wait for me. 21. Resolved, to not let the sun go down on my anger, literally. To take action instead of wallowing in self pity thinking “I will get over this”, when I will just harbor it and make the situation worse. 22. Resolved, to be quick to listen and slow to judge. 23. Resolved, to remember that I’m a sinner and nothing I can do on my own is worthy of God’s grace. 24. Resolved, to truly be happy for others when good things happen to them and not to me. 25. Resolved, to realize that if I accomplish any of these resolutions that it is only through Christ and not my own strength. 26. Resolved, to be thankful when people correct me and to realize that it is out of love and not an effort to tear me down. 27. Resolved, to realize that what is best is not necessarily what I want. 29. Resolved, to not pray for others to change so that it will benefit me but to pray out of a true concern for them. 30. Resolved, to not give my opinion like it is the will of God that everyone should obey and agree with. I am mostly wrong, and often need to admit it. 31. Resolved, to love others unselfishly. To be willing to love even if it means I may get hurt, for there is no gain without risk. To let God love others through me, and not let my personality and desires get in the way of his sovereign will.