thoughts of a mundane life

I honestly feel like I have nothing to say. Which is a very bad thing indeed. I would rather be succeeding by leaps and bounds or failing. At least in failure I would be learning something, and hopefully trusting God more and myself less. But here I am in the mediocre. I think one of the worst things in life is being content with where you are. Don't get me wrong I'm not talking about the physical I'm talking about the spiritual. I never want to be perfectly content in my walk with God. What I'm trying to say is I'm not perfect (people who know me are now laughing at the notion), and as long as I'm not perfect my relationship with Christ will not be perfect. So there will always be things to improve, there is so much more to God than my mind will ever be able to grasp. I could spend every hour of every day studying His word and never fully understand Him. This is amazing and humbling. As I sit here enjoying my pathetic life it seems easy to give up. If I can never understand God, what is the point of trying? Well first of all, this isn't exactly my aim. I want to love God more and learn to serve and follow Him better. Not being able to understand Him helps me to accept His decisions in my life. I want a God who is bigger than me. I have a tendency to repeatedly mess up my life. I would be nowhere without God's grace in my life. I'm not sure if any of that made sense, but to sum it up I'm just reminding myself how great God is and why I want and need to know Him better.