The Quest for a New Beginning

So I've finally decided that it's about time I restarted this thing. The hard question is "what is it?". A very long time ago on a planet far far away, I started a blog, this one. It had some purpose, probably to ramble about current nothings, and maybe come to some conclusion about life. Well now that I'm 24, and probably have little left to learn. :-P maybe I should change it. Aren't I expected to have figured everything out? To have already become something amazing, to know exactly where I'm going. Well let's sum where things are. What have I done? I have finished school, I have a part time job, a house that I don't own that is currently a complete mess, a husband, and a million projects that I've barely started. What haven't I done? Everything. Nothing with that hard earned college education, nothing with the projects I've started, and well whatever else I've meant to have done. But lets be realistic. I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds it so much easier to watch television than do, well, anything. There is this weird stage between college and real life and I think I'm still there. I'm not the sort of naturally motivated person who can make themselves do anything. I still mope around daydreaming about this imaginary life where I do all kinds of amazing things, most of which probably don't exist on this planet. Well anyways, enough moping. At the end of that long almost depressing sounding rant and ramble. The question still remains, do I find a rambling purpose to this blog,start a new one, redo this one or something as exiting? I'll stop while I'm ahead, well maybe just a little behind. :-)

A New Beginning

This is a new beginning, meaning, I plan on posting on here in the future. I realized that I needed to post on here again when I couldn't remember my password anymore. Very sad. So that said, there isn't much else to say. Well there is much that could be said, but I don't want to say it. So thats it. Haha, well I'll find something else to do for a bit. Laterz self.

Boredom isn't a good reason to post, but I will try and bridge that and actually write something that I want to say. I keep thinking about things that I meant to post about a while ago, but I have more trouble writing about them when I let time pass. I was going to write something about living beyond reproach, Shondra and I talked a bit about it at work during the summer. But I let it pass, so I will write about this week.

In all honesty it hasn't been the easiest week- not just speaking about school. I've been moping a bit, rather caught up in all the things I wish I could change in my life. I think about how I wish things were different then mope because I can't do anything about it and don't think God will. Sometimes knowing that God wants what is best for me I just assume that is everything I don't want. Anyway during dorm chapel on Friday everything was put into perspective. We were singing How Great is Our God, and I remembered How great our God really is. When I focus on Him and not my own petty little problems I realize how trivial they are. Honestly they don't matter. It's late at night and I'm having trouble formulating my thoughts. The moral of the story is that, when I'm feeling mopish I need to focus on God, well I should be focusing on Him all the time, He should be the center of my life. I'm saying should because I fail so many times. The older I get the more amazed I am at His love. Sometimes I think that after all these years I would have learned something so small. Yet thankfully there are trials in my life that constantly remind me of how much I need Him, and how great He is. Well I think I will go to bed now, and maybe write something that might make a little more sense later. GBY

Another day, another try

The summer, since it is almost over, I think I will try and sum it up. As stated before the summer has turned out to be interesting. Not much has happened, as stated above. My parents moved, and yes I did cry, most of the way up the mountains back to work. I am actually an emotional person- in the sense that I do cry sometimes, I'm only saying that because my family doesn't know. Anyway, womens Bible study this week was really good, Patricia shared, and she basically just shared her whole life story. It was incredibly encouraging to hear how God has been faithful through the years. I have been quite worried over how I'm going to pay for this next school year, and hearing her share really put things into perspective. I had a good sitting session too. I am known to roam about at night (at school too) most of the time just to think. But I sat outside and had a good thinking/praying session. Anyway, the rest is almost over and school is about to begin. But I'm quite excited about it. The question right now is should I graduate early? I'm now a second semester sophmore and it would be really easy to take a few extra classes and graduate a year early. But do I really want to do that? I still have no idea what I want to do. So anyway that is life. Only one more semester of signing in!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY! Waldock here I come.

And the summer is almost over...

So I don't really write on here because I have so little time on the computer and I don't always like writing complete nonsense. The summer is really almost over I only have two more weeks of work. Ahhhh. This summer has been good. I can't say that I had some revelation that was so great it felt like I was struck by lighting (not that I know what that feels like, actually technically I don't think it would feel like the expression suggests at all) but things have been settling. Like my life has been shaken gently and all the peices are falling into place.

My parents are now in Florida. My mom was offered a teaching job before she moved but she refused it (the contract was really strange) but the day they arrived she was told by another school that she had an interview then she was offered the job and now she start on Monday. Anyway what I think I was getting to was that I've been worried this summer about this coming year and the fact that I have no job and no way to pay my school bills, and all this reminded that I don't need to worry. Anyway, I'm writing but it seems like I'm not saying anything that I want to.

I think I will end this post and rewrite everything I want to say better. But considering this is the first time all summer that I have sat and no one has been in line, this will probably not happen again.

thoughts....or something like that

So I'm sitting in the staff lounge waiting for it to be time to go down the hill. We are eating at Red Robin tonight. I don't really like Red Robin, but I will eat there. So I have been at Camp for about a month. At first we weren't very busy so I had time for great thoughts that I wanted to record. Then it became busy and life started consisting of sleep, food, work, sleep and of course foosball. Overall I haven't had any life changing revelations: realizing that the true path to happiness involves shaving my head and eating onions for the rest of my life. I also have not as yet been abducted by aliens- though I still have not lost hope. I will persevere! On the otherhand I have thought alot about , serving others, and well of course foosball.

To start off the summer I was reading the Autobiography of Malcolm X- I didn't finish it, partially because it was due back at the library and because I got upset about being called the basest of all human beings, and racist, racist beyond anything I thought conceivable. I will agree with Dr. Simons that it is a good autobiography, but their is only so much any human can take being insulted. So the book is basically is about how his life was ruined by racist whites. You must realize that every bad aspect of black society is caused by Whites. The , the , the prostitution, all of it. So apparently I have lived my life in oblivion. I know that I have been the cause for most of the tradgedy of everyone I know's life, but to be called a cause of the deterioration of black society. Really. The book takes it so far that it is completely racist against whites. Anyway, I stopped the book, I could not read anymore. Maybe someday I'll finish it.

When I got here this summer I was a little worried when I found out that I was going to be one of the oldest s here (really I'm not all that old), in the past I was one of the youngest. The first week everything exploded and some of the s called a meeting where they complained about someone borrowing their razor and the like. Things have calmed down a little. I am also always in contact with people which is difficult at times. I like them in small doses but sometimes when I'm around them for nine or ten hours a day and they all want something or are wondering why they haven't gotten their fries yet it becomes difficult.

Odd but possibly interesting facts: My boss mixed the rootbear and Dr. Pepper lines by mistake and we were open for several hours and nobody who bought Root Bear and got Dr. Pepper instead said anything. I am also starting to like Dr. Pepper. My grandparents always feed it to us when we visit. People also will order a soda look at what we have and ask for Coke. We don't have coke!!!! I give them Pepsi. Sometimes I ask them if they want Pepsi and they normally say yes. My mom calls all soda coke, so I like to make sure. But if they read all the labels and ask for coke, really it astonishes me. I have also rediscovered my love for foosball! How did I live a year without playing it??? Hmmmm foosball. It is about time for me to start getting ready to leave. So have a splendid day!

My parents leave for Florida in ten days!!!!!!!!!!!

Have I ever mentioned that I seriously dislike the sound of popping knuckles???

Note: this computer takes out all words that it deems innapropriate, basically any word that could be controversial. I have not reread this to see if it took anything out. But just to clarify, I did not cuss or say anything that is even questionable, the computer just has no idea what I'm actually talking about.

News update: Well there isn't much to say except that I would appreciate prayer. I just finished a 8 day work stretch and I am now starting a 9 day stretch. I had the lovely (sarcasm) of working until midnight twice. Anyway, I have to drive up today. Well maybe I'll try and update again sometime.